She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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