Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
