She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
