How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Randomize
