erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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