At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
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