I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Randomize
