So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
