my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
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You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
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She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
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