I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
