1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
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