Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Randomize
