I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
