big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
