all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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