You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
