Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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