i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
