HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Gay?
German.
Pity.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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