The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
