If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
