Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (303): So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl. http://tfl.nu/7x7a
  Replies (4) Good night (1253) Bad night (681)
• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  My astrological sign? Vagitarius.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (440): My astrological sign? Vagitarius. http://tfl.nu/0z0j
  Replies (20) Good night (3722) Bad night (817)
• Favorite

  (912): View more from Georgia

  your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (912): your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?" http://tfl.nu/ccfy
  Replies (18) Good night (1203) Bad night (3957)
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (519): Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum. http://tfl.nu/qm4t
  Replies (8) Good night (2287) Bad night (1185)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (402): I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted. http://tfl.nu/yox0
  Replies (27) Good night (8210) Bad night (1352)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good

  (1-703): View more from Virginia

  that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (703): that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good (1-703): that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna http://tfl.nu/tr0q
  Replies (7) Good night (4336) Bad night (1067)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (914): I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit. http://tfl.nu/fljs
  Replies (3) Good night (501) Bad night (1508)
• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (816): I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap. http://tfl.nu/otej
  Replies (4) Good night (512) Bad night (1116)
• Favorite

  (954): View more from Florida

  I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (954): I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in http://tfl.nu/4adg
  Replies (4) Good night (967) Bad night (524)
• Favorite

  (951): View more from California

  Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.

  (1-951): View more from California

  I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (951): Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny. (1-951): I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection. http://tfl.nu/lb55
  Replies (3) Good night (1207) Bad night (522)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (206): He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years. http://tfl.nu/o48r
  Replies (6) Good night (448) Bad night (1125)
• Favorite

  (720): View more from Colorado

  Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (720): Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital? http://tfl.nu/6lgx
  Replies (9) Good night (620) Bad night (534)
• Favorite

  (339): View more from Massachusetts

  It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (339): It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar http://tfl.nu/fowx
  Replies (0) Good night (447) Bad night (229)
• Favorite

  (904): View more from Florida

  I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (904): I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet http://tfl.nu/sqvb
  Replies (1) Good night (353) Bad night (167)
• Favorite

  (505): View more from New Mexico

  whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (505): whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever. http://tfl.nu/xib6
  Replies (1) Good night (158) Bad night (263)

Randomize