Texts From Last Night

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  (913): View more from Kansas

  very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.

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  (913): very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute. http://tfl.nu/bjrt
  Replies (11) Good night (607) Bad night (1028)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!

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  (410): Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!! http://tfl.nu/gjd6
  Replies (8) Good night (4636) Bad night (812)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them

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  (609): there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them http://tfl.nu/lo0z
  Replies (24) Good night (5411) Bad night (715)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".

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  (412): He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up". http://tfl.nu/5shs
  Replies (39) Good night (11324) Bad night (1865)
• Favorite

  (213): View more from California

  The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.

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  (213): The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out. http://tfl.nu/jmae
  Replies (4) Good night (2158) Bad night (684)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES

  (1-505): View more from New Mexico

  This is going everywhere on the internet.

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  (505): TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES (1-505): This is going everywhere on the internet. http://tfl.nu/lcfu
  Replies (8) Good night (3080) Bad night (864)
• Favorite

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.

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  (401): It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss. http://tfl.nu/0y0a
  Replies (1) Good night (1169) Bad night (1159)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.

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  (816): We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly. http://tfl.nu/0x8b
  Replies (6) Good night (1997) Bad night (509)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?

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  (515): Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch? http://tfl.nu/hxz0
  Replies (20) Good night (2520) Bad night (913)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you

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  (815): You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you http://tfl.nu/fukp
  Replies (9) Good night (1842) Bad night (477)
• Favorite

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides

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  (724): I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides http://tfl.nu/36h7
  Replies (6) Good night (1015) Bad night (302)
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  (618): View more from Illinois

  I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.

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  (618): I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion. http://tfl.nu/gnl9
  Replies (5) Good night (492) Bad night (618)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart

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  (570): Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart http://tfl.nu/586o
  Replies (3) Good night (446) Bad night (213)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home

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  (503): Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home http://tfl.nu/qybd
  Replies (5) Good night (445) Bad night (340)
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything

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  (519): You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything http://tfl.nu/69w4
  Replies (0) Good night (432) Bad night (190)

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