He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Randomize
