Texts From Last Night

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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"

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  (717): one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9" http://tfl.nu/v0g1
  Replies (52) Good night (4725) Bad night (1041)
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  (530): View more from California

  We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?

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  (530): We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef? http://tfl.nu/bmpn
  Replies (12) Good night (4208) Bad night (718)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.

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  (407): She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast. http://tfl.nu/4kxl
  Replies (7) Good night (3143) Bad night (1480)
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had

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  (902): you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had http://tfl.nu/lpp3
  Replies (9) Good night (3498) Bad night (832)
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.

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  (517): Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever. http://tfl.nu/mubr
  Replies (10) Good night (5558) Bad night (944)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.

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  (720): Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated. http://tfl.nu/fo7q
  Replies (4) Good night (1614) Bad night (747)
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  (323): View more from California

  How did I end up in the pool?!

  (480): View more from Arizona

  Welcome to ASU

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  (323): How did I end up in the pool?! (480): Welcome to ASU http://tfl.nu/zi7q
  Replies (8) Good night (2565) Bad night (804)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.

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  (937): How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold. http://tfl.nu/0xc1
  Replies (14) Good night (2895) Bad night (793)
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  (647): View more from Ontario

  well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer

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  (647): well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer http://tfl.nu/wxzh
  Replies (3) Good night (1304) Bad night (626)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.

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  (815): I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets. http://tfl.nu/choe
  Replies (4) Good night (1554) Bad night (581)
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  (716): View more from New York

  I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?

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  (716): I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest? http://tfl.nu/jsvy
  Replies (7) Good night (973) Bad night (670)
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  (647): View more from Ontario

  Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.

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  (647): Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face. http://tfl.nu/pfop
  Replies (1) Good night (397) Bad night (780)
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  (805): View more from California

  Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.

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  (805): Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck. http://tfl.nu/zu2d
  Replies (6) Good night (475) Bad night (1844)
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack

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  (920): I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack http://tfl.nu/hqr0
  Replies (2) Good night (904) Bad night (351)
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.

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  (502): I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off. http://tfl.nu/temq
  Replies (1) Good night (477) Bad night (184)

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