he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
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