she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
