So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
