A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
Say something about gay babies.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Randomize
