the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
this just has baby written all over it
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
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