yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
wat bout pragnant strippers??
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.