Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
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I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
You blew him?!?!
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.