I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
My brain says no but my pants say off.
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.