Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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