I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize