plz talk dirty to me
your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
