Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Randomize
