am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
