He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
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