i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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