I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
