Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
