I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
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