I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Randomize
