I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
We need a shit load of segways right now
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
