someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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