The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
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