I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
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