Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Randomize
