Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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