He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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