Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
