Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
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