we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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