this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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