I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
