Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
one might say we're banned from that church
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
