Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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