Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
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