Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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