the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Randomize
