Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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