Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
