So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
