The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I wish there were birth control emojis
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
