So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Randomize
