This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
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I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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