I'm eating all of the evidence.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
