Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize
