People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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