I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
